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[Get Opera!]

Perpetual Energy (2 to 8)
Comments (30) Go to top of page  
‘Hello, is that the UN, oh good. I’d like to make a charge against an individual named SaTaNiX. Yes, I would like to charge him with a crime against humanity. I need proof you say, well, I have a map he made called Perpetual Energy, that should do.’

That is roughly what SHOULD have happened having played this map, it really so bad it could count as a crime against humanity. The level is made up of a central room with every weapon except the super shotgun in it which then has two connecting rooms containing hideously large amounts of rockets and nails, a megahealth per room, and then either a pentagram or a quad damage. The rooms are all connected in a straight line, so connectivity could be roughly described as ‘shit’.

The texturing of the level is simple, bright blue walls, bright yellow floor and a few dark blue metallic ramps. That is it, it is so appallingly bad that a terminally retarded badger with a flaming, hairy, weasel shaped dildo stuffed up its left nostril so that it protrudes from its ear, could have done better. And to add to the shit curdling depravity of the theme, everything is almost fullbright, with a couple of slightly darker bits thrown in. Lighting comes from either flame holders, appears from thin air or is produced by those crap light globe things.

To give the author credit though, he did try, he made some nice invisible platforms from clip brushes on which to rest the pent and quad on. But in this case, why the hell didn’t he clip the jutting out door frames that keep impeding progress down the disgustingly bright corridors? The map plays as god awfully as it looks, with everyone just cramming into the central room, firing a couple of times, respawning in an outer room, then repeating. Basically, this map is actually worse than Saving Private Ryan, it is so shit that quite frankly, I find the prospect of having sex with a grunt more attractive than having to play this pile of shit one more time. Do NOT, under any circumstances, get it. Ever.

GrindSpire

Download Here (46Kb)
SaTaNiX
Author Site
Reviewed : 02/12/2000

(0.0/5)

#1 LOL!
by Shambler 02/12/2000 - 06:54:45 (194.112.32.102)
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This is how bad maps should be reviewed =)

#2 PAUL!
by GrindSpire 02/12/2000 - 07:45:03 (193.113.185.130)
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We need an icon if something gets 0/5!

#3 zero icon
by Fernologist 02/12/2000 - 12:21:28 (141.222.155.39) Refers to post #2
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It looks like Paul tried to put one in the "Two Castles" review but it's always been a broken link for me.

#4 Is it a blast party?
by QuakeMapDesigner 02/12/2000 - 13:30:10 (24.200.48.151)
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Hi,

I can't stay sitting here and see how a review is done about a map that someone
will get power to make other one, and learn of mistake and stuff. This map was
made in 15 min. so of course there is 15 min. of effort in that one. Is the review
needed a certain amount of hours of work ?

It's totally unfair for the different mapping skills of people. It should have divided
in 2 area. Once people send a map, the first thing should be to allow the map to
the proper area. Also, review should be more polite. If a compagny can't say the
word "shit", it should be the same for the review. GrindSpire you are in a position
of authority here as a reviewer and you should act as a mature person in your
review. But you can't act as a mature person if you not, right?

For the review, let me tell you my review of this map: I played that map with SaTaNiX and one thing for sure and you can't denied, this map is a winner for
what you all call the r_speeds and amount of polygons (that's is my major
problems in all the maps i do). About textures, it is impossible that you see
bright spickles ( or pickle's) everywhere because those textures were not made
custom by SaTaNiX and were done for a non-glquake environement. This map
doesn't have a full goodies junk everywhere you can jump on them and walk
on them, so this also respect all those Quake maps for serious gamers. The
game play would be better if probably SaTaNiX would put more min. and hours. Adding multiple sidewalk different height.

In the near futur, SaTaNiX will probably add more time in his work and get better
look with a better choice of textures.

My final word would be: " People needs to know what they have to do to get better by having a reviews and not getting fireblasted. Am here to encourage
people like him, me, to still love editing and continue to do what we love the
most"

Cheers SaTaNiX,

QuakeMapDesigner
"where imagination means Levels"
http://pages.infinit.net/quakemap

#5 Low scores...
by Asriel 02/12/2000 - 13:37:45 (203.96.152.183)
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may encourage you to do better, during the process (heh) of making a map - or depress you.

meh

#6 well...
by BARiUM 02/12/2000 - 14:09:38 (62.20.133.197)
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...if he is stupid enough to release this pile of junk, he deserves the review...

this map should be shift+deleted

#7 hihihi
by maiden 02/12/2000 - 14:51:08 (216.154.19.205)
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hehe

#8 Actually
by GrindSpire 02/12/2000 - 15:25:24 (213.122.213.205) Refers to post #4
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A review is there to inform people about the map. And I don't give a fuck if he spent 3 years on it, it still plays like a pile of shit. Time mapping means fuck all.

And of course it has low r_speeds, it is a fucking box map.

I never said that I got white speckles, I said it was too bright, there is a difference.

And I would act as a mature person, but this does not deserve any respect, it is shit. And it WAS submitted to the site, SaTaNiX chose to submit it, I didn't go looking for it.

So please, in respect of your amazing stupidity, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RETARD!

#9 Ok, thanks...
by satanix 02/12/2000 - 21:34:07 (24.27.230.101)
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Thanks for the review. I don`t care if you call it shit, because I know I can do better. The level does not play good with bots (which you probably used). It plays very well with humans. I know the gameplay is linear, but who says you have to cram 16 or more players in it? It was made for a private server (if any), which usually only houses 8 players. Just putting in some clarities, and the lighting, I can do better, I know. And the doorways, mistake I guess. I wanted to see response on those. Next map you won`t as so angry towards it. I kind of expected a low score anyway.

Regards,

SaTaNiX

(Thanks to all who pleasantly put down a mapper, thanks for the self-esteem boost, and possibly even some encouragement. I`ll be sure to personally thank you if I ever meet up with you.)

#10 no problem!
by Spanish Weird 03/12/2000 - 00:26:24 (212.140.218.21)
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Whats the matter with you people, don't you recognize genius when it cocks it's leg & pees in your face?

SaTaNiX, woah d00d you cleary have some serious talent in the old box map department so don't let these jealous pricks get you down.

#11 time... and effort
by BlackPope 03/12/2000 - 03:11:27 (209.52.215.32)
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if this map was actually only 15 minutes in the making... It should not be here...
especially since the reviewer is spending more time than that reviewing it!!!

IMO... the map is god awful ugly, and has little play value... There it absolutely NO oportunity for tactics whatsoever...

Paul... ye should put a "NO BOX MAPS" disclaimer and write a list of what constites "BOX"
eg:
--EXtremely bright lights (or no lighting for that matter)
--Absurd amounts of ammo clumped or spread around
--Horrid texture combinations
--A F*cking box!!
- TWO f*cking boxes!!!

you get my point... heh... I don't mind that people make bad stuff
/me hides all his test map pieces on his HD
just... well don't release it...
you said it's for a private server...keep it private!!

that's all from me

#12 Look you retarded fucks
by GrindSpire 03/12/2000 - 04:17:43 (193.113.185.162)
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You can't say 'Oh, it only took 15 minutes and it was only made for private play'. If that is the case then DON'T SUBMIT IT YOU BLOODY IDIOT.

And I played it with both bots AND people, putting 16 people in there removes any gameplay dynamics. IT ISN'T FUN FFS, and if you can do better... why did you submit it? Only release stuff when it is the best you can do. But I will review any more maps by you on their own merits rather than just seeing your name, so feel free to submit some more.

#13 Heh. I just had to...
by ROFernL 03/12/2000 - 10:17:00 (141.222.155.39)
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<<This map was made in 15 min. so of course there is 15 min. of effort in that one.>>

Fifteen minutes of effort = SHIT MAP

<>

What, "maps that look good that you can actually play" and "complete asscrack maps that make your eyes and mind hurt" ?

<<Also, review should be more polite. If a company can't say the word "shit", it should be the same for the review.>>

The companies would probably like to. Also they have the handicap of actually being paid for what they do unlike the kind volunteers who are running this site :)

<<For the review, let me tell you my review of this map: I played that map with SaTaNiX and one thing for sure and you can't denied, this map is a winner for what you all call the r_speeds and amount of polygons (that's is my major problems in all the maps i do).>>

That's because there are what looks like less than fifty brushes in the entire motherfragging map! Making a cardboard box of a map and p1mping it for low r_speeds is like removing all the boards and components from your computer and marketing the empty box as easily transportable.

<<About textures, it is impossible that you see bright spickles ( or pickle's) everywhere because those textures were not made
custom by SaTaNiX and were done for a non-glquake environement.>>

Since everyone else is already making maps without fullbright software problems as a rule rather than the exception, I don't think it's jawdroppingly amazing or notable that someone has made one, especially since they used stock id textures.

<<The game play would be better if probably SaTaNiX would put more min. and hours. Adding multiple sidewalk different height.>>

Why didn't he then? Submitting a map you know could easily be better, if it's this bad to begin with, is an act of bloody contempt tantamount to spitting on this site.

<<My final word would be: " People needs to know what they have to do to get better by having a reviews and not getting fireblasted.>>

From reading GrindSpire's review, if I were the mapper, I would know that I had to do the following:
1) Avoid putting so much ammo in one place
2) Connect rooms in a more interesting manner than a straight line
3) Use better textures
4) Use realistic sourced lights
5) Use clip brushes on difficult corners and protruding pieces of wall
6) Try to spread out gameplay and make all areas equally valuable and interesting.

Those suggestions are all actually in the review if you read it, so indeed he is letting people know what they need to do.

A bad map is just bad until someone defends it
Then it is an evil map

Carry on :)
~Fern

#14 suck it down QuakeMapDesigner
by Drannerz 04/12/2000 - 13:18:04 (193.113.185.130)
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I was going to rip the piss out of SaTaNiX (did anyone mis-read it as "Santax" and think it was some brand of tampon?), but then I saw the comment by QuakeMapDesigner, obviously a man of vast imagination, and though I'd kick his ass instead.

How can he defend this map?
"The game play would be better if probably SaTaNiX would put more min. and hours. Adding multiple sidewalks at different heights."
NO! NO! NO! putting "sidewalks" in a box doesn't make it a better box, it just makes it a box with sidewalks. It's still shite, there's just more of it on many levels.

"It's totally unfair for the different mapping skills of people. It should have divided in 2 area."
It's a bit difficult to understand him (he's probably too busy sucking SaTaNiX's cock to type properly) but I think he's suggesting maps are reviewed according to the skill of the author. Well how do we judge the skill of the author? By the quality of the map? WELL THAT'S WHAT MPQ HAS DONE, YOU FUCKING EEJIT. The map was shite, so it gets a shite mark. Are you suggesting this kind of crap should be given good marks for being so appalingly bad? That's really gonna piss off mappers who spend months tweaking to perfection good maps, only to recieve the same score as Saving Private Ryan or Perpetual Energy.

And you can't justify this bollox with:
"This map was made in 15 min. so of course there is 15 min. of effort in that one"
That's like giving the Miss World title to John Prescot because he put his make-up on fastest.

"where imagination means Levels"...would that be the same imagination that produced you name?

In short QuakeMapDesigner, your defending this shite because it would be hypocritical of you not to, it's the kind of shite we have to endure you releasing. Seeing as you and SaTaNiX are bestest bum-chums an' all, it would probably ruin your sex life if you upset him.
We've all got crap maps on our hard drives, but that's were we keep them.

Drannerz 8¬]

#15 LOL
by Paul 04/12/2000 - 13:30:39 (193.113.185.162) Refers to post #14
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Laugh, I nearly cried. Thanks Drannerz. Very funny post.

#16 Sorry...
by satanix 04/12/2000 - 18:55:39 (65.33.124.24)
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I`m sorry for posting a sorry ass map... I`m sorry for the trouble it started. I deserve the bad name... but don`t remember me as a bad person, remember me as some guy who submitted a bad map, and don`t flame my personal life. QMD lives I don`t know, 3000 miles away, he`s nothing but an internet aquaintance. I`ve just supported his maps for the past like 1 year... and I will continue to do so. With the exception of Drannerz, I apologize to you all. Just know this, everyone isn`t perfect their first time (and I was off by about 5000 miles)... and now I know I don`t think I can create any map of standard to this website... I don`t plan on resubmitting anything. Just on a note, those clips protruding from the wall wasn`t a mistake, I was trying something different. I plan on continuing on making maps for the TF community, however, which you can probably notice that I`m better at due to the symmetrical value of the map. Thank you for your time GrindSpire, I know you didn`t enjoy my map, and that it took you maybe 2 hours to review it as opposed to my 15 minutes of working on it. By the way, QMD is born French, it explains his spelling, nothing else besides that. Please accept my apology.

Good Bye,

SaTaNiX

#17 he's a good lad
by Drannerz 05/12/2000 - 08:34:31 (193.113.185.130)
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His pride bruised, his reputation in tatters and his sorry ass hauling itself out of the world of Quake mapping, you've gotta hand it to SaTaNiX, a very philosiphical response to the battering he's taken from us lot. well okay, mainly me and ROFernL.

You know what SaTaNiX, you're alright.

Drannerz 8¬]

P.s. Your maps still stink though.

#18 Personally
by GrindSpire 05/12/2000 - 11:55:07 (62.7.59.174) Refers to post #16
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I think you should have another go at maps. But keep practising mapping skills, make a few more maps and once you have made one of id standard or better then send it to some of the good community mappers (and me =) to get some comments on it. Everyone starts of shit, your mistake was to release the shit. But at least you have recognised that it sucks, which means you WILL improve.

#19 Hold on a second...
by satanix 05/12/2000 - 15:40:21 (65.33.124.24)
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I dunno if I said I won`t ever map again... if I did, what I meant is... not for the time being... actually, I`ve done some pretty good segments of maps, but never finished the whole idea... know what I`m saying? Have you ever wanted to do this map really badly, but school, job, and other things just interfere... and then you lose hope on the map, and kind of give up. I guess that`s what happened to this one... and in my mind I thought it could not be improved, but the fact is, the whole idea stunk. I need more diverse maps... which I can think of now looking at the maps with 4/5 or more scores. They are much much more detailed... the connectivity blows my mind away. For some reason I saw my map as like awesome... don`t ask why. I just wasn`t seeing clearly, I`ll prove otherwise when I take the time on a new project (which is being brewed in my mind as I type). I don`t know yet what kind of map... whether DM, or 1on1. But I have a good theme... most likely industrial or gothic. I`ve been mapping for maybe about 2 years, but never consistantly. It seems I get good, then I stop mapping once I get busy, then 6 months later start again from ground zero... or very little knowledge. I am going to try to build up my strength and maintain it this time, and hopefully spare your guys` eyes and time. Well Drannerz, if that was an apology... I accept. I`m off to go recollect some thoughts and ideas... if you play Team Fortress (MegaTF), you can find me on any of the Continental US servers.

Some Time Later,

SaTaNiX

#20 Unusual
by PsalmBlaster 06/12/2000 - 19:46:27 (212.188.155.164)
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Hmm, usually people that make maps that look like that can't type or form a coherent sentence to save their lives, the fact that SaTaNiX can actually form intelligent paragraphs might imply he really can do better maps :) Proof is in the pudding I suppose...

Going to watch an "Erotic-thriller" on channel 4 now :D
PsalmBlaster

#21 satan inside
by Vondur 07/12/2000 - 10:17:45 (194.87.189.190)
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satanix, please do this:
1.learn how to map
2.get some maps from top 10 list
3.look at them carefully
4.try to understand their layout style
5.compare them with your maps
6.if you will not feel a difference, PLEASE stop to map.
7.if you will feel that your maps are weird this is very good, continue to map but be careful to submit them. compare your new maps with that top10 maps again until you feel compfortable mentally.

if you won't do these 7 *easy* steps you will fail every time....

vondur

#22 Vondur
by GrindSpire 07/12/2000 - 13:37:54 (213.120.62.70) Refers to post #21
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He already has, I was talking to him last night, you are late =)

#23 Perfect example of crap mentality
by ELEK 07/12/2000 - 14:52:09 (199.179.177.70)
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This review basically disgusts me. If I wanted to read this I would go to Cranky Steve's. I really am personally dissapointed in the elitist attitude displayed toward this person. Some of my first maps were worse than this, and I am sure if I had known of the Quake community I would have submitted a pile of shit to Shambler. I really think it is better to simply say that this map is not worth downloading and creating a set of requirements for submission. I personally think that Grindspire's most recent review degrades the integrity of his reviewing skills. I personally don't think that someone who responds in this nature can formulate an objective intelligent opinion. Sorry Grind these are your words man "That is it, it is so appallingly bad that a terminally retarded badger with a flaming, hairy, weasel shaped dildo stuffed up its left nostril so that it protrudes from its ear, could have done better. And to add to the shit curdling depravity of the theme, everything is almost fullbright, with a couple of slightly darker bits thrown in. Lighting comes from either flame holders, appears from thin air or is produced by those crap light globe things."
To me this just screams childish, unprofessional crap. If I were Paul I would insist that these kinds of comments be saved for #terrafusion where just about anything seems appropriate. But to post these kinds of offensive comments on a permanent page where hundreds of people can read them is just ridiculous. Go ahead let the flames begin, I am just about as disgusted as I can get anyways. I hope someday when Grind is applying for a job in the industry and he credits MPQ as a contribution to the gaming community they come here and read this particular review.
-ELEK

#24 Read below.
by BiffMasta 09/12/2000 - 23:41:07 (24.4.253.7)
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ELEK, the review should have went to Crank's. Crank would have had a better alternative to this quote:

"...it really so bad it could count as a crime against humanity."

You know crank does better... good try Spire, you seem to have good maps.

(why do i comment, i don't have Q3 anyhow [but I do have Q1])

BM

#25 re : Read below
by Paul 10/12/2000 - 13:05:37 (193.113.185.130) Refers to post #24
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>why do i comment, i don't have Q3 anyhow [but I do have Q1]

Just wondering what you mean by that comment. This is a Quake website, not a Q3a one.

#26 GrindSpire's Opinion(ated)
by GrindSpire 11/12/2000 - 14:18:58 (62.7.45.73) Refers to post #23
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Actually, reviews are NOT to help an author make a better map, they are to inform potential players about the map. If they were there to help the author then one to one emails would replace review sites.

Which is what I have done, I have talked to SaTaNiX over ICQ and I am helping him improve his mapping skills. And without this review he possibly wouldn't have realised that this was a bad map...

Finally, I challenge you to download and play this map, then give some helpful comments on how to improve the map without completely scrapping it.

#27 Damn you all,
by XeNoN 12/12/2000 - 09:54:24 (194.207.214.2)
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Hey, I happen to like crap maps! Quite funny, but grindspire's review should have been less serious, and more like drannerz's.

#28 my genious is recognised
by Drannerz 14/12/2000 - 15:29:10 (193.113.185.130) Refers to post #27
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Well said XeNoN, a noble comment from a nobel gas (ha ha ha...ha...erm...ahem, yes).
Maybe I should do reviews for Religion Quake?

Drannerz 8¬]

#29 yeah, why not?
by XeNoN 14/12/2000 - 17:10:18 (212.126.131.124) Refers to post #28
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DAZ could stick to the good ones and you could be the new cranky steve!
And it might be worth pointing out that I'm the one you carelessly sent Lithium to :D , just so you know who I am :)

#30 why not indeed...
by Drannerz 15/12/2000 - 20:10:07 (193.113.185.130) Refers to post #29
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Ahhhh...so now I know who's taken over Lithium. I'll be really interested to see what you do with it, cos I kind of hit a dead end (built stuff, looked shit).

And I like this cranky steve idea, but I might get a reputation as being a bully. Oh well.

Drannerz 8¬]

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