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Archived News for November 2000 Go to top of page
The joys of SQL
by Paul 30/11/2000 - 17:43:53 (
Comments (2) Go to top of page  
Well I might have been called a "fucking obnoxious killjoy nazi fun-spoiling cunt" today by Shambler but I still managed to do something good. The list of total visits a user makes on the site is back. I sussed out a better way of sorting out the data for it and instead of taking nearly 2 minutes to generate, it takes just 4/5 seconds :). Not a bad improvement, although I am highly dubious about the numbers its giving out… I also sorted the refer to posts links, my html wasn't what it should have been.

Anyway, I'm going to be away until late Saturday/early Sunday so no updates from me until Sunday.

Mixed up
by Paul 29/11/2000 - 13:36:40 (
Comments (3) Go to top of page  
Fat Controller has done 3 reviews in the last day:
RICH_BAR by QuakeMapDesigner
Infernal Base by moRgoth
Violence 2 Silence by Ajay 'INhabitaNT' Fry

Looks like they got mixed up in my reviews so you couldn't tell what was new... so that gives me something else to fix.

Arf, arf!
by Paul 28/11/2000 - 19:48:03 (
Comments (1) Go to top of page  
A moist 4 for you this cold evening:
My Brain Died Yesterday by Fat Controller
Warfare 3 - Nubian Chicken Sex by Gonzo
Reinc 2 - Return of the Sexer by Gonzo
Progenitor by Spin Doctor

So what have I been doing to the poor site? Well one rather important thing was to get it so that Fat Controller and GrindSpire can update the site without having to get me to upload their screen shots. With that now done updates should be more regular (honest!). I've also added other things like what the assigned reviewer to a map is on the pending maps list and comment counts to the sidebar for the reviews.

Bilirubin emailed me with details of a Quake server hes got running which has some of the maps from the site. Go here for more details:

And before I forget, I got this interesting email. Aren't people so nice?
From : Madiha Hameed [[email protected]]
To : Paul Healey
Email :
ur a prick arent u...? y the hell r u closing it down...? its QUAKE god dammit QUAKE i've only visted ur site once and ok i dont really care about ur site but i care about quake .quake rocks its a well known fact ,ur insulting quake when u close down the site ... i find u repulsive ... well anyways must b off 2 play multiplayer QUAKE by the way im not a guy im a girl and yes girls do play pc games. laters
Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :

Meoooooow! A year ago I would have fired a ream of abuse back at them, but now it's not worth the effort… I must be getting old :).

Great White Hunter
by Fat Controller 27/11/2000 - 04:37:33 (
Comments (1) Go to top of page  
Joe Hunter, that is. Ol' Fatty's just been downloading his maps and looking about at three of 'em:
Lost Goods
Midnight Silence

More reviews are forthcoming... if ONE of them doesn't make me kill myself first.

Fixing stuff
by Paul 26/11/2000 - 14:52:29 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
I'm currently fixing parts of the site. Apparently the Rants/Interviews section of the site has been broken for ages... and nobody emailed me on it :(. Anyway its fixed now.

I should have a review up later on tonight depending on how long my fixes take.

Well, look who's here
by Fat Controller 23/11/2000 - 04:37:36 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
Yes, it's Fat Controller, cub reporter at MPQ. Must mean Inspection's finally dead.

Anyway, little ol' me's done reviewed:
Deathmatch Chaos by Shadowdane
Where Souls Burn by Gizmo
The Forgotten by Auhsan

I try to be fair to everything I'm likely to run across, but don't worry, I'll get over it.

All lies!
by Paul 21/11/2000 - 16:21:55 (
Comments (7) Go to top of page  
Ok, I've not had enough time to get things done, so shoot me.

This leaves me with a problem... Its probably become obviously apparent GrindSpire and myself can't keep the site updated regularly enough. So drastic action is required (or not as the case may be). Expect some news on what is going to happen soon.

Still here!
by Paul 21/11/2000 - 04:19:09 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
Ok, so my new fangled Dreamcast is totally responsible for no reviews over the weekend, but I shall resist its temptations and put some reviews up tonight.

New review + Ye Olde MPQ
by Paul 16/11/2000 - 16:34:24 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
The GrindSpire has done a review! No really…
Vitriolically Obliterate by Killazontherun

Also look what I found… a couple of pages from the old MPQ just after Taskmaster had left. The 1st page is the index page, which had the request for a Quake DM reviewer, which yours truly went and got :). The second is one of the review indexes with a review of an old Quake map I did called Locked In as reviewed by TaskMaster. Just look how short his reviews were!!!
Old Index
Old Reviews

Midweek Madness
by Paul 15/11/2000 - 17:03:20 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
4 reviews tonight:
Safe1 - Instant Impact by ziffon
Safe2 - Walk the Walk by ziffon
A Copper Cloud by Tronyn
Nowhere to Run by Kayin
There won't be as many reviews as last week since I'm a bit busy with RL stuff.

Busy, busy, busy.
by Paul 14/11/2000 - 14:48:17 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
I'll be putting some reviews up tomorrow evening.

Tasty 'tatoes
by Paul 09/11/2000 - 17:02:06 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
If I keep it up I might end up doing regular updates! Ha! So heres some reviews and one Daz isn't going to like much:
Dazdm12 - In the thick of it by DaZ
Rpdm9 - The Lost Junket by Dean Turner (Rotpig)
Rcdm9 - Mortuus Simplex by Fat Controller.

I'd update tonight...
by Paul 08/11/2000 - 17:14:38 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
...but I can't be arsed and fancy a rest. You'll just have to wait for a day (for 5 reviews) :).

I spy...
by Paul 07/11/2000 - 16:42:29 (
Comments (4) Go to top of page  
Boo! Like I promised:
BlackPope's Bloody Discharge by Black-the poking stick master-Pope

I've added a new list to the side bar, you can view the last four weeks reviews by date so you can see when they were inputted. Makes more sense than the alphabetic list.

It also seems I fixed the invalid variant bug since there are no more appearing on the error list, which is good. Unfortunately the stats page has ground to a halt so I think its time to tidy that up.

Looks like I was a little short on the secrets count in Rpdm7 - Halls of Darkness, I'd found 2 but there are in fact 6!!! Go check out the review to see Shambler and Rotpig (the author of rpdm7) chit chat it out and point them all out for you.

Also had a brain fart earlier, I'm thinking of doing some articles on Quake mapping help and other related stuff. Is anyone interested in contributing stuff to it? I was thinking of general tools links etc and then proper hints on maps and things to look out for.

Ouch, that hurts!
by Paul 06/11/2000 - 19:45:17 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
Ok so I lied, here are 2 reviews:
The Unholy Outpost by Dean Turner.
Halls Of Darkness by Dean Turner.
The BlackPope decided it was fun to do this to me…
[23:02] * BlackPope pokes Paul|MPQing with a short stick.
Well a day later for his Pope5 review it is then :P.

Seems The Fribulator found some problems with the formatting on the site. So I fixed it so you
separate lines without having to put blank lines in to split things up. A crap method I know, but I didn't think I'd get caught with my pants down on that one :P. Also I'm trying to fix other things on the site since it appears to be falling to bloody pieces. Most are "Invalid variant type/floating point conversion" type bugs that are proving to be a bitch to fix. Please if get an error email me so I can look into it. Thanks.

I noticed some peculiar today, it looks like there has been some hacking about on the domain here, Mickey and Bal tried to get away with this…
Some people are into weird things!

Smoothly does it.
by Paul 05/11/2000 - 18:13:35 (
Comments (7) Go to top of page  
A mixed batch of 6 reviews up tonight:
Black Coffee by Drannerz.
Halls of the White Wizard by Tronyn.
hjdm3 catfish by BIGFooT_47.
Kdm1 - Animositania by Kell.
Kdm2 - The Killing Jar by Kell.
Kdm8 - Azuramania by Kell.
I should be putting 3 more reviews up tomorrow evening as well.

Bascule asked in the Suggestions/Comments thread the following:
I don't know if this is the right place to post this (so kick me if it isn't), but I am trying to get Quake to change from one custom level to another whilst playing DM with a fraglimit/timelimit.

Most custom maps seem to revert to Start once the limit is reached, but I want to Changelevel to another custom map. Can I do this in Quake (some config or other), or is it built into each map which map plays next?

I can't remember what to do for that, I know though its just some simple stuff in a .cfg file. If you have any suggestions then please comment here or email Bascule.

Looks like Zeal (who tried to cover his tracks by using my name) likes doing daft comment posts and was stupid enough to leave an email address behind, [email protected]. If you want to be a dick then f**k off here.

Now the beta testing section I mentioned earlier, well Shambler pointed out that Qmap has a map tracker which works as a beta section which does the job perfectly I reckon, so if you need a place to get comments on a beta, go there.

Couple of things, I updated the Site Links so that its up to date, instead of being a year out of date. And Shambler appears to have found one of fav reviews I've done (it's a favourite simply because I can't believe I was that abusive) of Saving Private Ryan, which is on the Worst Maps list funnily enough.

Oops, I broke it again.
by Paul 03/11/2000 - 03:32:57 (
Comments (0) Go to top of page  
Looks like I broke the site last night. Got disconnected as I was uploading the CGI and it wouldn't let me delete what I'd uploaded to try again. Thank you NT! Anyway its all fixed now.

Good Evening
by Paul 01/11/2000 - 16:56:23 (
Comments (2) Go to top of page  
No reviews tonight, but I'll be putting some up tomorrow. I have, however, uploaded a copy of Dasdm1 for peoples amusement :). Its listed in the Worst Maps section and the download for it was broken before. Gibfest will love me for that.

I've also added Skorpion's route file for Fried Potatoes and Pineapples to the review I did at the weekend.

Finally I've made a slight change to the site as well. You can now put ' and " in the titles and they will not be parsed out now. Someone at work pointed out a very quick method for letting them through.

MPQ Design by James Kable Healey.
CGI code by Paul Healey
CGI and Content Copyright Paul Healey © 2001/2000/1999/1998
with the exception of reviews which are copyright of the author.
Design Copyright Kable Kreations © 2001/2000