Perpetual Energy

2 to 8 players | Reviewed by GrindSpire - Saturday 2nd December 2000 @ 6:48pm

‘Hello, is that the UN, oh good. I’d like to make a charge against an individual named SaTaNiX. Yes, I would like to charge him with a crime against humanity. I need proof you say, well, I have a map he made called Perpetual Energy, that should do.’

That is roughly what SHOULD have happened having played this map, it really so bad it could count as a crime against humanity. The level is made up of a central room with every weapon except the super shotgun in it which then has two connecting rooms containing hideously large amounts of rockets and nails, a megahealth per room, and then either a pentagram or a quad damage. The rooms are all connected in a straight line, so connectivity could be roughly described as ‘shit’.

The texturing of the level is simple, bright blue walls, bright yellow floor and a few dark blue metallic ramps. That is it, it is so appallingly bad that a terminally retarded badger with a flaming, hairy, weasel shaped dildo stuffed up its left nostril so that it protrudes from its ear, could have done better. And to add to the shit curdling depravity of the theme, everything is almost fullbright, with a couple of slightly darker bits thrown in. Lighting comes from either flame holders, appears from thin air or is produced by those crap light globe things.

To give the author credit though, he did try, he made some nice invisible platforms from clip brushes on which to rest the pent and quad on. But in this case, why the hell didn’t he clip the jutting out door frames that keep impeding progress down the disgustingly bright corridors? The map plays as god awfully as it looks, with everyone just cramming into the central room, firing a couple of times, respawning in an outer room, then repeating. Basically, this map is actually worse than Saving Private Ryan, it is so shit that quite frankly, I find the prospect of having sex with a grunt more attractive than having to play this pile of shit one more time. Do NOT, under any circumstances, get it. Ever.


0.0 out of 5.0

Download 46Kb - 954 downloads | readme | SaTaNiX | Author Site

#11. time... and effort ^

by BlackPope - Sunday 3rd December 2000 @ 3:11am (209.52.215.32)

if this map was actually only 15 minutes in the making... It should not be here...
especially since the reviewer is spending more time than that reviewing it!!!

IMO... the map is god awful ugly, and has little play value... There it absolutely NO oportunity for tactics whatsoever...

Paul... ye should put a "NO BOX MAPS" disclaimer and write a list of what constites "BOX"
eg:
--EXtremely bright lights (or no lighting for that matter)
--Absurd amounts of ammo clumped or spread around
--Horrid texture combinations
--A F*cking box!!
- TWO f*cking boxes!!!

you get my point... heh... I don't mind that people make bad stuff
/me hides all his test map pieces on his HD
just... well don't release it...
you said it's for a private server...keep it private!!

that's all from me

#12. Look you retarded fucks ^

by GrindSpire - Sunday 3rd December 2000 @ 4:17am (193.113.185.162)

You can't say 'Oh, it only took 15 minutes and it was only made for private play'. If that is the case then DON'T SUBMIT IT YOU BLOODY IDIOT.

And I played it with both bots AND people, putting 16 people in there removes any gameplay dynamics. IT ISN'T FUN FFS, and if you can do better... why did you submit it? Only release stuff when it is the best you can do. But I will review any more maps by you on their own merits rather than just seeing your name, so feel free to submit some more.

#13. Heh. I just had to... ^

by ROFernL - Sunday 3rd December 2000 @ 10:17am (141.222.155.39)

<>

Fifteen minutes of effort = SHIT MAP

<>

What, "maps that look good that you can actually play" and "complete asscrack maps that make your eyes and mind hurt" ?

<>

The companies would probably like to. Also they have the handicap of actually being paid for what they do unlike the kind volunteers who are running this site :)

<>

That's because there are what looks like less than fifty brushes in the entire motherfragging map! Making a cardboard box of a map and p1mping it for low r_speeds is like removing all the boards and components from your computer and marketing the empty box as easily transportable.

< custom by SaTaNiX and were done for a non-glquake environement.>>

Since everyone else is already making maps without fullbright software problems as a rule rather than the exception, I don't think it's jawdroppingly amazing or notable that someone has made one, especially since they used stock id textures.

<>

Why didn't he then? Submitting a map you know could easily be better, if it's this bad to begin with, is an act of bloody contempt tantamount to spitting on this site.

<>

From reading GrindSpire's review, if I were the mapper, I would know that I had to do the following:
1) Avoid putting so much ammo in one place
2) Connect rooms in a more interesting manner than a straight line
3) Use better textures
4) Use realistic sourced lights
5) Use clip brushes on difficult corners and protruding pieces of wall
6) Try to spread out gameplay and make all areas equally valuable and interesting.

Those suggestions are all actually in the review if you read it, so indeed he is letting people know what they need to do.

A bad map is just bad until someone defends it
Then it is an evil map

Carry on :)
~Fern

#14. suck it down QuakeMapDesigner ^

by Drannerz - Monday 4th December 2000 @ 1:18pm (193.113.185.130)

I was going to rip the piss out of SaTaNiX (did anyone mis-read it as "Santax" and think it was some brand of tampon?), but then I saw the comment by QuakeMapDesigner, obviously a man of vast imagination, and though I'd kick his ass instead.

How can he defend this map?
"The game play would be better if probably SaTaNiX would put more min. and hours. Adding multiple sidewalks at different heights."
NO! NO! NO! putting "sidewalks" in a box doesn't make it a better box, it just makes it a box with sidewalks. It's still shite, there's just more of it on many levels.

"It's totally unfair for the different mapping skills of people. It should have divided in 2 area."
It's a bit difficult to understand him (he's probably too busy sucking SaTaNiX's cock to type properly) but I think he's suggesting maps are reviewed according to the skill of the author. Well how do we judge the skill of the author? By the quality of the map? WELL THAT'S WHAT MPQ HAS DONE, YOU FUCKING EEJIT. The map was shite, so it gets a shite mark. Are you suggesting this kind of crap should be given good marks for being so appalingly bad? That's really gonna piss off mappers who spend months tweaking to perfection good maps, only to recieve the same score as Saving Private Ryan or Perpetual Energy.

And you can't justify this bollox with:
"This map was made in 15 min. so of course there is 15 min. of effort in that one"
That's like giving the Miss World title to John Prescot because he put his make-up on fastest.

"where imagination means Levels"...would that be the same imagination that produced you name?

In short QuakeMapDesigner, your defending this shite because it would be hypocritical of you not to, it's the kind of shite we have to endure you releasing. Seeing as you and SaTaNiX are bestest bum-chums an' all, it would probably ruin your sex life if you upset him.
We've all got crap maps on our hard drives, but that's were we keep them.

Drannerz 8¬]

#15. LOL ^

by Paul - Monday 4th December 2000 @ 1:30pm (193.113.185.162)

Laugh, I nearly cried. Thanks Drannerz. Very funny post.

#16. Sorry... ^

by satanix - Monday 4th December 2000 @ 6:55pm (65.33.124.24)

I`m sorry for posting a sorry ass map... I`m sorry for the trouble it started. I deserve the bad name... but don`t remember me as a bad person, remember me as some guy who submitted a bad map, and don`t flame my personal life. QMD lives I don`t know, 3000 miles away, he`s nothing but an internet aquaintance. I`ve just supported his maps for the past like 1 year... and I will continue to do so. With the exception of Drannerz, I apologize to you all. Just know this, everyone isn`t perfect their first time (and I was off by about 5000 miles)... and now I know I don`t think I can create any map of standard to this website... I don`t plan on resubmitting anything. Just on a note, those clips protruding from the wall wasn`t a mistake, I was trying something different. I plan on continuing on making maps for the TF community, however, which you can probably notice that I`m better at due to the symmetrical value of the map. Thank you for your time GrindSpire, I know you didn`t enjoy my map, and that it took you maybe 2 hours to review it as opposed to my 15 minutes of working on it. By the way, QMD is born French, it explains his spelling, nothing else besides that. Please accept my apology.

Good Bye,

SaTaNiX

#17. he's a good lad ^

by Drannerz - Tuesday 5th December 2000 @ 8:34am (193.113.185.130)

His pride bruised, his reputation in tatters and his sorry ass hauling itself out of the world of Quake mapping, you've gotta hand it to SaTaNiX, a very philosiphical response to the battering he's taken from us lot. well okay, mainly me and ROFernL.

You know what SaTaNiX, you're alright.

Drannerz 8¬]

P.s. Your maps still stink though.

#18. Personally ^

by GrindSpire - Tuesday 5th December 2000 @ 11:55am (62.7.59.174)

I think you should have another go at maps. But keep practising mapping skills, make a few more maps and once you have made one of id standard or better then send it to some of the good community mappers (and me =) to get some comments on it. Everyone starts of shit, your mistake was to release the shit. But at least you have recognised that it sucks, which means you WILL improve.

#19. Hold on a second... ^

by satanix - Tuesday 5th December 2000 @ 3:40pm (65.33.124.24)

I dunno if I said I won`t ever map again... if I did, what I meant is... not for the time being... actually, I`ve done some pretty good segments of maps, but never finished the whole idea... know what I`m saying? Have you ever wanted to do this map really badly, but school, job, and other things just interfere... and then you lose hope on the map, and kind of give up. I guess that`s what happened to this one... and in my mind I thought it could not be improved, but the fact is, the whole idea stunk. I need more diverse maps... which I can think of now looking at the maps with 4/5 or more scores. They are much much more detailed... the connectivity blows my mind away. For some reason I saw my map as like awesome... don`t ask why. I just wasn`t seeing clearly, I`ll prove otherwise when I take the time on a new project (which is being brewed in my mind as I type). I don`t know yet what kind of map... whether DM, or 1on1. But I have a good theme... most likely industrial or gothic. I`ve been mapping for maybe about 2 years, but never consistantly. It seems I get good, then I stop mapping once I get busy, then 6 months later start again from ground zero... or very little knowledge. I am going to try to build up my strength and maintain it this time, and hopefully spare your guys` eyes and time. Well Drannerz, if that was an apology... I accept. I`m off to go recollect some thoughts and ideas... if you play Team Fortress (MegaTF), you can find me on any of the Continental US servers.

Some Time Later,

SaTaNiX

#20. Unusual ^

by PsalmBlaster - Wednesday 6th December 2000 @ 7:46pm (212.188.155.164)

Hmm, usually people that make maps that look like that can't type or form a coherent sentence to save their lives, the fact that SaTaNiX can actually form intelligent paragraphs might imply he really can do better maps :) Proof is in the pudding I suppose...

Going to watch an "Erotic-thriller" on channel 4 now :D
PsalmBlaster

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