Perpetual Energy

2 to 8 players | Reviewed by GrindSpire - Saturday 2nd December 2000 @ 6:48pm

‘Hello, is that the UN, oh good. I’d like to make a charge against an individual named SaTaNiX. Yes, I would like to charge him with a crime against humanity. I need proof you say, well, I have a map he made called Perpetual Energy, that should do.’

That is roughly what SHOULD have happened having played this map, it really so bad it could count as a crime against humanity. The level is made up of a central room with every weapon except the super shotgun in it which then has two connecting rooms containing hideously large amounts of rockets and nails, a megahealth per room, and then either a pentagram or a quad damage. The rooms are all connected in a straight line, so connectivity could be roughly described as ‘shit’.

The texturing of the level is simple, bright blue walls, bright yellow floor and a few dark blue metallic ramps. That is it, it is so appallingly bad that a terminally retarded badger with a flaming, hairy, weasel shaped dildo stuffed up its left nostril so that it protrudes from its ear, could have done better. And to add to the shit curdling depravity of the theme, everything is almost fullbright, with a couple of slightly darker bits thrown in. Lighting comes from either flame holders, appears from thin air or is produced by those crap light globe things.

To give the author credit though, he did try, he made some nice invisible platforms from clip brushes on which to rest the pent and quad on. But in this case, why the hell didn’t he clip the jutting out door frames that keep impeding progress down the disgustingly bright corridors? The map plays as god awfully as it looks, with everyone just cramming into the central room, firing a couple of times, respawning in an outer room, then repeating. Basically, this map is actually worse than Saving Private Ryan, it is so shit that quite frankly, I find the prospect of having sex with a grunt more attractive than having to play this pile of shit one more time. Do NOT, under any circumstances, get it. Ever.

0.0 out of 5.0

Download 46Kb - 935 downloads | readme | SaTaNiX | Author Site

#21. satan inside ^

by Vondur - Thursday 7th December 2000 @ 10:17am (194.87.189.190)

satanix, please do this:
1.learn how to map
2.get some maps from top 10 list
3.look at them carefully
4.try to understand their layout style
5.compare them with your maps
6.if you will not feel a difference, PLEASE stop to map.
7.if you will feel that your maps are weird this is very good, continue to map but be careful to submit them. compare your new maps with that top10 maps again until you feel compfortable mentally.

if you won't do these 7 *easy* steps you will fail every time....

vondur

#22. Vondur ^

by GrindSpire - Thursday 7th December 2000 @ 1:37pm (213.120.62.70)

He already has, I was talking to him last night, you are late =)

#23. Perfect example of crap mentality ^

by ELEK - Thursday 7th December 2000 @ 2:52pm (199.179.177.70)

This review basically disgusts me. If I wanted to read this I would go to Cranky Steve's. I really am personally dissapointed in the elitist attitude displayed toward this person. Some of my first maps were worse than this, and I am sure if I had known of the Quake community I would have submitted a pile of shit to Shambler. I really think it is better to simply say that this map is not worth downloading and creating a set of requirements for submission. I personally think that Grindspire's most recent review degrades the integrity of his reviewing skills. I personally don't think that someone who responds in this nature can formulate an objective intelligent opinion. Sorry Grind these are your words man "That is it, it is so appallingly bad that a terminally retarded badger with a flaming, hairy, weasel shaped dildo stuffed up its left nostril so that it protrudes from its ear, could have done better. And to add to the shit curdling depravity of the theme, everything is almost fullbright, with a couple of slightly darker bits thrown in. Lighting comes from either flame holders, appears from thin air or is produced by those crap light globe things."
To me this just screams childish, unprofessional crap. If I were Paul I would insist that these kinds of comments be saved for #terrafusion where just about anything seems appropriate. But to post these kinds of offensive comments on a permanent page where hundreds of people can read them is just ridiculous. Go ahead let the flames begin, I am just about as disgusted as I can get anyways. I hope someday when Grind is applying for a job in the industry and he credits MPQ as a contribution to the gaming community they come here and read this particular review.
-ELEK

#24. Read below. ^

by BiffMasta - Saturday 9th December 2000 @ 11:41pm (24.4.253.7)

ELEK, the review should have went to Crank's. Crank would have had a better alternative to this quote:

"...it really so bad it could count as a crime against humanity."

You know crank does better... good try Spire, you seem to have good maps.

(why do i comment, i don't have Q3 anyhow [but I do have Q1])

BM

#25. re : Read below ^

by Paul - Sunday 10th December 2000 @ 1:05pm (193.113.185.130)

>why do i comment, i don't have Q3 anyhow [but I do have Q1]

Just wondering what you mean by that comment. This is a Quake website, not a Q3a one.

#26. GrindSpire's Opinion(ated) ^

by GrindSpire - Monday 11th December 2000 @ 2:18pm (62.7.45.73)

Actually, reviews are NOT to help an author make a better map, they are to inform potential players about the map. If they were there to help the author then one to one emails would replace review sites.

Which is what I have done, I have talked to SaTaNiX over ICQ and I am helping him improve his mapping skills. And without this review he possibly wouldn't have realised that this was a bad map...

Finally, I challenge you to download and play this map, then give some helpful comments on how to improve the map without completely scrapping it.

#27. Damn you all, ^

by XeNoN - Tuesday 12th December 2000 @ 9:54am (194.207.214.2)

Hey, I happen to like crap maps! Quite funny, but grindspire's review should have been less serious, and more like drannerz's.

#28. my genious is recognised ^

by Drannerz - Thursday 14th December 2000 @ 3:29pm (193.113.185.130)

Well said XeNoN, a noble comment from a nobel gas (ha ha ha...ha...erm...ahem, yes).
Maybe I should do reviews for Religion Quake?

Drannerz 8¬]

#29. yeah, why not? ^

by XeNoN - Thursday 14th December 2000 @ 5:10pm (212.126.131.124)

DAZ could stick to the good ones and you could be the new cranky steve!
And it might be worth pointing out that I'm the one you carelessly sent Lithium to :D , just so you know who I am :)

#30. why not indeed... ^

by Drannerz - Friday 15th December 2000 @ 8:10pm (193.113.185.130)

Ahhhh...so now I know who's taken over Lithium. I'll be really interested to see what you do with it, cos I kind of hit a dead end (built stuff, looked shit).

And I like this cranky steve idea, but I might get a reputation as being a bully. Oh well.

Drannerz 8¬]

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